skyjourney | (no subject)

[ It had all started with an incident on Sephira Island. The singularity has marched in with more confidence than caution; Sandalphon, Vyrn, Lyria and several other crewmates by her side, explaining her brazenness by saying they were experienced enough with the different routes across it and the manner of creatures to be found in it that they would likely be done with their expedition soon, confident that they'd blaze through any troubles with sheer brute force as they had always done. Having seen her prowess enough to trust in it and having been with her on such expeditions before, most of the other crewmaters, too, saw no reason to argue; even Sandalphon was starting to think the amount supplies they brought along with them on these investigations slowed them down more often than help.

What they had all clearly forgotten was the original reason for the caution they approached it with; that Sephira Island was secluded, and so they were vulnerable, and even the girl in blue's own exceptional power was restricted. And it was the opportunity that a certain creature was waiting for to strike— in the midst of a battle that required more firepower, the Singularity called for the power of the fallen angel of cunning himself, a portion of it absorbed by Lyria that had enough of its own will for the rotten character of the original to be preserved with it. The cost of this power, the charm spell Belial would place upon them alongside the other increases in their abilities, seemingly just for his own amusement, was usually far more manageable, but had proven almost fatal under such conditions. The monster they were fighting took advantage of their inability to properly fight back, and rendered the expedition crew alive but unconscious, and badly wounded.

Everyone except Sandalphon, who fought to his last ounce of strength, refusing and unrelenting to surrender to his own wounds. He had just barely managed to fight through the spell enough to land a finishing blow and finish the job in their stead, before succumbing to the charm and his own exhaustion, just barely hanging to consciousness by a thread, and into the mindless sensation of blankness of the charm still on him.

That had been the second mistake; he had realized that the second he saw Belial's form materialize in front of him.

Nobody had seen what happened next. Nobody knew. No one but the Singularity herself, and even then, just barely— he'd caught her eye— half-open, hazy, only briefly before she had dropped back to unconsciousness— in the middle of it, barely able to perceive everything around him beyond pure sensation, and barely thought anything of it, in the heat of the moment. When it was over Sandalphon felt lightheaded, dizzy, as if his body has detached from the earth, struggling to comprehend what has happened. It hadn't even dawned on him what Belial has done to him until much later, and with it, his own feelings about it.

The Singularity had humbly conceded that she may have been rather reckless; but none of their wounds were fatal, so they had survived, made use of the supplies they had brought and made camp to rest up for the night and heal up. She had later come to talk to Sandalphon in private, apologizing, practically with tears in her eyes, guilt radiating off her. Alway far too soft-hearted and naive for her position. He had assured her he bared her no ill will or resentment over the incident, did not hold her responsible, and, looking at her, didn't feel the need to say 'I told you so' over the many, many times before he protested over making use of Belial's power. She clearly didn't need him to.

And so they simply agreed not to talk of it ever again. The Singularity has asked him about how he felt, fretted over him, worried over his mental state, and it had been a struggle to shut her down, but seemed to relent when he told her he'd rather she not bring it up, and she seemed to find that agreement the most conscientious thing to do. Sandalphon had been affected, certainly. He hadn't stopped thinking about it, what he could remember. He just didn't need her or anyone else to know the real reason why. The captain seemed to think he was traumatized. He didn't feel the need to explain that the memory of both being on the receiving end of the charm and the... physical part of experience, the touch, had fascinated him and that some part of him may have long to feel it again.

Time passed since then; months, over a year, and with how long they haven't spoken of it, the incident was forgotten until the man himself had joined their crew. Over that time, his power has grown. And with it, his... fascination, and his frustration. The many, many attempts to stave of the something that the experience lit up in him. He tried not to consider the idea that this is the reason he protested less than he should have when the choice to let Belial join them was made, and when the Singularity came to talk to him about the subject with an air of guilt to her, and he agreed to her reasoning without as much of a struggle as she too seemed to expect. Having Belial around as a constant reminder, labeling all his attempts to forget the incident not only fruitless but doing the opposite, amped up his frustration to degrees that were starting to become unbearable.

So when the thought I could just ask him pipes up, he spends several minutes mulling it over and telling himself it would be utterly ridiculous, that it would be the most foolish thing he could ever think of doing. Quite telling, maybe, that he doesn't reject it out of hand and gives it more than a passing thought. Instead the thought stays around, egging him on at night in his frustrations, until one day, something in him simply can't take it anymore.

And so, wondering at how he's actually not just considering but going through with so unbelievable an act, he one day approaches Belial directly. He finds him on the ship, walking towards him with a scowl, keeping his tone brusque, hoping his demeanor will do enough to conceal his intent to make it come off as entirely impersonal business. ]

Belial. [ Sandalphon grabs him tightly by the wrist and pulls at him to follow, with the intend of leading him somewhere into the more secluded corners of the ship, where they won't be overheard or seen. ] We need to talk.

Threaded | Flat

[ after sariel helped them escape from their interdimensional prison, a much larger threat had necessitated the grandcypher crew's cooperation with them. through their combined power, the threat was swiftly dealt with, at the cost of lucilius's life. by the time the dust settled on the battlefield and they could start treating their wounds, only a few shattered remains remained—far too little for belial to use to bring him back a second time.

he'd relucantly asked if he could join the crew afterwards, simply because he had nowhere else to go. the singularity had been reluctant, of course, and vyrn wasn't particularly amenable to the idea after everything he's done, but lyria looked at him with pity in those doe eyes of hers (disgusting, belial thought to himself) and said she wanted to give him a chance. they wouldn't have survived without his and lucilius's help, and if nothing else this would let them keep an eye on him. they let lobelia join for similar reasons, after all.

he keeps running various scenarios through his head where he'd done something slightly differently, where lucilius hadn't taken the brunt of that last attack. he keeps asking himself what he's supposed to do now, with the love of his life gone forever with no chance of coming back. he'd asked nier if the primal beast she's bound to could bring him back, but even that was beyond death's power, and none of the ancient tomes he'd stolen from collectors held any clues to successful necromancy.

he manages to find other things to occupy his thoughts, to distract him from the heartache in the months after joining. the majority of the crew doesn't like him and avoids interacting with him more than necessary, but he finds himself spending time with the few that tolerate him. kolulu's easy to win over with food and to his amusement she expresses that she likes his summon stone—it makes her tallyho hit even harder. lunalu takes a while to warm up to him and he quickly learns to tone down the innuendo around her to keep her from freaking out, but eventually he becomes her go-to person for advice on creating doujinshi. and then there's metera. it took them approximately three conversations before she practically dragged him to her cabin and rode him all night long.

of course, he harasses sandalphon whenever he can, frequently showing up at his quaint little cafe to hit on him or make his inner coffee elitist die on the inside by ordering nonfat iced skinny mocha with light ice, whipped cream, and chocolate drizzle. so when he sees sandalphon approach him, he halts in his step and cants his head slightly, wondering what in the skies prompted this. surely he's not here to tell him he's banned from the cafe, he knows that's not going to deter him from showing up like usual. ]

Oh hello, Sandy. [ he purrs, mouth curving in a wolfish grin as he lets the angel pull him away. ] What's up? Finally tired of being a repressed virgin so you came to me for a quickie in a closet?