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skyjourney2020-05-03 01:54 am
notsentalone) wrote in skyjourney2020-05-03 01:54 am
(no subject)
[ It had all started with an incident on Sephira Island. The singularity has marched in with more confidence than caution; Sandalphon, Vyrn, Lyria and several other crewmates by her side, explaining her brazenness by saying they were experienced enough with the different routes across it and the manner of creatures to be found in it that they would likely be done with their expedition soon, confident that they'd blaze through any troubles with sheer brute force as they had always done. Having seen her prowess enough to trust in it and having been with her on such expeditions before, most of the other crewmaters, too, saw no reason to argue; even Sandalphon was starting to think the amount supplies they brought along with them on these investigations slowed them down more often than help.
What they had all clearly forgotten was the original reason for the caution they approached it with; that Sephira Island was secluded, and so they were vulnerable, and even the girl in blue's own exceptional power was restricted. And it was the opportunity that a certain creature was waiting for to strike— in the midst of a battle that required more firepower, the Singularity called for the power of the fallen angel of cunning himself, a portion of it absorbed by Lyria that had enough of its own will for the rotten character of the original to be preserved with it. The cost of this power, the charm spell Belial would place upon them alongside the other increases in their abilities, seemingly just for his own amusement, was usually far more manageable, but had proven almost fatal under such conditions. The monster they were fighting took advantage of their inability to properly fight back, and rendered the expedition crew alive but unconscious, and badly wounded.
Everyone except Sandalphon, who fought to his last ounce of strength, refusing and unrelenting to surrender to his own wounds. He had just barely managed to fight through the spell enough to land a finishing blow and finish the job in their stead, before succumbing to the charm and his own exhaustion, just barely hanging to consciousness by a thread, and into the mindless sensation of blankness of the charm still on him.
That had been the second mistake; he had realized that the second he saw Belial's form materialize in front of him.
Nobody had seen what happened next. Nobody knew. No one but the Singularity herself, and even then, just barely— he'd caught her eye— half-open, hazy, only briefly before she had dropped back to unconsciousness— in the middle of it, barely able to perceive everything around him beyond pure sensation, and barely thought anything of it, in the heat of the moment. When it was over Sandalphon felt lightheaded, dizzy, as if his body has detached from the earth, struggling to comprehend what has happened. It hadn't even dawned on him what Belial has done to him until much later, and with it, his own feelings about it.
The Singularity had humbly conceded that she may have been rather reckless; but none of their wounds were fatal, so they had survived, made use of the supplies they had brought and made camp to rest up for the night and heal up. She had later come to talk to Sandalphon in private, apologizing, practically with tears in her eyes, guilt radiating off her. Alway far too soft-hearted and naive for her position. He had assured her he bared her no ill will or resentment over the incident, did not hold her responsible, and, looking at her, didn't feel the need to say 'I told you so' over the many, many times before he protested over making use of Belial's power. She clearly didn't need him to.
And so they simply agreed not to talk of it ever again. The Singularity has asked him about how he felt, fretted over him, worried over his mental state, and it had been a struggle to shut her down, but seemed to relent when he told her he'd rather she not bring it up, and she seemed to find that agreement the most conscientious thing to do. Sandalphon had been affected, certainly. He hadn't stopped thinking about it, what he could remember. He just didn't need her or anyone else to know the real reason why. The captain seemed to think he was traumatized. He didn't feel the need to explain that the memory of both being on the receiving end of the charm and the... physical part of experience, the touch, had fascinated him and that some part of him may have long to feel it again.
Time passed since then; months, over a year, and with how long they haven't spoken of it, the incident was forgotten until the man himself had joined their crew. Over that time, his power has grown. And with it, his... fascination, and his frustration. The many, many attempts to stave of the something that the experience lit up in him. He tried not to consider the idea that this is the reason he protested less than he should have when the choice to let Belial join them was made, and when the Singularity came to talk to him about the subject with an air of guilt to her, and he agreed to her reasoning without as much of a struggle as she too seemed to expect. Having Belial around as a constant reminder, labeling all his attempts to forget the incident not only fruitless but doing the opposite, amped up his frustration to degrees that were starting to become unbearable.
So when the thought I could just ask him pipes up, he spends several minutes mulling it over and telling himself it would be utterly ridiculous, that it would be the most foolish thing he could ever think of doing. Quite telling, maybe, that he doesn't reject it out of hand and gives it more than a passing thought. Instead the thought stays around, egging him on at night in his frustrations, until one day, something in him simply can't take it anymore.
And so, wondering at how he's actually not just considering but going through with so unbelievable an act, he one day approaches Belial directly. He finds him on the ship, walking towards him with a scowl, keeping his tone brusque, hoping his demeanor will do enough to conceal his intent to make it come off as entirely impersonal business. ]
Belial. [ Sandalphon grabs him tightly by the wrist and pulls at him to follow, with the intend of leading him somewhere into the more secluded corners of the ship, where they won't be overheard or seen. ] We need to talk.
What they had all clearly forgotten was the original reason for the caution they approached it with; that Sephira Island was secluded, and so they were vulnerable, and even the girl in blue's own exceptional power was restricted. And it was the opportunity that a certain creature was waiting for to strike— in the midst of a battle that required more firepower, the Singularity called for the power of the fallen angel of cunning himself, a portion of it absorbed by Lyria that had enough of its own will for the rotten character of the original to be preserved with it. The cost of this power, the charm spell Belial would place upon them alongside the other increases in their abilities, seemingly just for his own amusement, was usually far more manageable, but had proven almost fatal under such conditions. The monster they were fighting took advantage of their inability to properly fight back, and rendered the expedition crew alive but unconscious, and badly wounded.
Everyone except Sandalphon, who fought to his last ounce of strength, refusing and unrelenting to surrender to his own wounds. He had just barely managed to fight through the spell enough to land a finishing blow and finish the job in their stead, before succumbing to the charm and his own exhaustion, just barely hanging to consciousness by a thread, and into the mindless sensation of blankness of the charm still on him.
That had been the second mistake; he had realized that the second he saw Belial's form materialize in front of him.
Nobody had seen what happened next. Nobody knew. No one but the Singularity herself, and even then, just barely— he'd caught her eye— half-open, hazy, only briefly before she had dropped back to unconsciousness— in the middle of it, barely able to perceive everything around him beyond pure sensation, and barely thought anything of it, in the heat of the moment. When it was over Sandalphon felt lightheaded, dizzy, as if his body has detached from the earth, struggling to comprehend what has happened. It hadn't even dawned on him what Belial has done to him until much later, and with it, his own feelings about it.
The Singularity had humbly conceded that she may have been rather reckless; but none of their wounds were fatal, so they had survived, made use of the supplies they had brought and made camp to rest up for the night and heal up. She had later come to talk to Sandalphon in private, apologizing, practically with tears in her eyes, guilt radiating off her. Alway far too soft-hearted and naive for her position. He had assured her he bared her no ill will or resentment over the incident, did not hold her responsible, and, looking at her, didn't feel the need to say 'I told you so' over the many, many times before he protested over making use of Belial's power. She clearly didn't need him to.
And so they simply agreed not to talk of it ever again. The Singularity has asked him about how he felt, fretted over him, worried over his mental state, and it had been a struggle to shut her down, but seemed to relent when he told her he'd rather she not bring it up, and she seemed to find that agreement the most conscientious thing to do. Sandalphon had been affected, certainly. He hadn't stopped thinking about it, what he could remember. He just didn't need her or anyone else to know the real reason why. The captain seemed to think he was traumatized. He didn't feel the need to explain that the memory of both being on the receiving end of the charm and the... physical part of experience, the touch, had fascinated him and that some part of him may have long to feel it again.
Time passed since then; months, over a year, and with how long they haven't spoken of it, the incident was forgotten until the man himself had joined their crew. Over that time, his power has grown. And with it, his... fascination, and his frustration. The many, many attempts to stave of the something that the experience lit up in him. He tried not to consider the idea that this is the reason he protested less than he should have when the choice to let Belial join them was made, and when the Singularity came to talk to him about the subject with an air of guilt to her, and he agreed to her reasoning without as much of a struggle as she too seemed to expect. Having Belial around as a constant reminder, labeling all his attempts to forget the incident not only fruitless but doing the opposite, amped up his frustration to degrees that were starting to become unbearable.
So when the thought I could just ask him pipes up, he spends several minutes mulling it over and telling himself it would be utterly ridiculous, that it would be the most foolish thing he could ever think of doing. Quite telling, maybe, that he doesn't reject it out of hand and gives it more than a passing thought. Instead the thought stays around, egging him on at night in his frustrations, until one day, something in him simply can't take it anymore.
And so, wondering at how he's actually not just considering but going through with so unbelievable an act, he one day approaches Belial directly. He finds him on the ship, walking towards him with a scowl, keeping his tone brusque, hoping his demeanor will do enough to conceal his intent to make it come off as entirely impersonal business. ]
Belial. [ Sandalphon grabs him tightly by the wrist and pulls at him to follow, with the intend of leading him somewhere into the more secluded corners of the ship, where they won't be overheard or seen. ] We need to talk.
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he'd relucantly asked if he could join the crew afterwards, simply because he had nowhere else to go. the singularity had been reluctant, of course, and vyrn wasn't particularly amenable to the idea after everything he's done, but lyria looked at him with pity in those doe eyes of hers (disgusting, belial thought to himself) and said she wanted to give him a chance. they wouldn't have survived without his and lucilius's help, and if nothing else this would let them keep an eye on him. they let lobelia join for similar reasons, after all.
he keeps running various scenarios through his head where he'd done something slightly differently, where lucilius hadn't taken the brunt of that last attack. he keeps asking himself what he's supposed to do now, with the love of his life gone forever with no chance of coming back. he'd asked nier if the primal beast she's bound to could bring him back, but even that was beyond death's power, and none of the ancient tomes he'd stolen from collectors held any clues to successful necromancy.
he manages to find other things to occupy his thoughts, to distract him from the heartache in the months after joining. the majority of the crew doesn't like him and avoids interacting with him more than necessary, but he finds himself spending time with the few that tolerate him. kolulu's easy to win over with food and to his amusement she expresses that she likes his summon stone—it makes her tallyho hit even harder. lunalu takes a while to warm up to him and he quickly learns to tone down the innuendo around her to keep her from freaking out, but eventually he becomes her go-to person for advice on creating doujinshi. and then there's metera. it took them approximately three conversations before she practically dragged him to her cabin and rode him all night long.
of course, he harasses sandalphon whenever he can, frequently showing up at his quaint little cafe to hit on him or make his inner coffee elitist die on the inside by ordering nonfat iced skinny mocha with light ice, whipped cream, and chocolate drizzle. so when he sees sandalphon approach him, he halts in his step and cants his head slightly, wondering what in the skies prompted this. surely he's not here to tell him he's banned from the cafe, he knows that's not going to deter him from showing up like usual. ]
Oh hello, Sandy. [ he purrs, mouth curving in a wolfish grin as he lets the angel pull him away. ] What's up? Finally tired of being a repressed virgin so you came to me for a quickie in a closet?
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Besides, the repressed part was... well, he has a hard time denying it even to himself. Would anyone not repressed be considering doing what he's intent on doing at this moment? The way Belial starts out messing with him before he even heard what he has to say is just another reminder of why this is a bad idea. It's immediately met with the rebuttal of the relief that'll finally come once he has what he's looking for. It'll be fine, he reminds himself. Just ask. Just ask, and then it'll be done with. It's just one, simple thing.
Such warring thoughts follow him the entire way as he leads Belial deeper into the ship, a hallway consisting of doors leading into dusty and unused empty rooms— one of the few areas in the ship remaining where they could find any such privacy. Finally reaching it and finding himself satisfied that they won't be overheard, he stops in place, and steels himself, hoping his tension isn't too obvious as he draws in a sharp breath as quietly as he can, then turns around to face Belial, not quite avoiding his gaze, not quite looking him in the eye. ]
I have... [ He hesitates, but by some miracle, doesn't stutter, and his tone comes across as businesslike and stern as he can manage it: ] Well, I'm far from happy about it, but there's a favor I need to ask of you.
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sandalphon is lucky that belial hasn't found out; he'd teased the singularity endlessly for keeping a crystallized portion of his power around, asking if she had missed him while he was trapped in the interdimensional rift, to which she had scoffed. the summon stone was useful, nothing more, though belial couldn't help but notice the flicker of something akin to guilt behind those brown eyes of hers. like something was weighing her conscience down, but clearly not enough to make her smash the stone and grind it into quartz.
guess she hasn't lost her taste for power after that incident with the six primarch weapons. he'd decided not to press her further about it, though. gotta be nice and respectful to his captain and all that stuff. ]
Go on. [ he practically purrs in a silky-smooth voice, taking a step closer, one hand coming up to grasp sandalphon's chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his chin gently so he has to look him in the eye. ] What can I do for you, oh radiant Supreme Primarch?
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Actually looking Belial in the eye just makes it all worse. He wants to yell at Belial that he's only making this harder for him, but hopes his deepening scowl carries the message across. He only barely registers oh radiant Supreme Primarch— being called that should be a reminder of his responsibility, his duty, the choices he's made, everything that led up til now, his position and relation to his man who used to be an enemy... it is a reminder, feels like too late of a warning now, too late to diffuse him. In some attempt to regain control of himself, Sandalphon grasps again at his wrist, this time of the hand grasping his chin, attempting to pry it off.
Even then, he tries his best to avoid looking at Belial, difficult as it is from this close. It takes a good few minutes of dead silence, of gathering his courage, before he finally speaks again. This time, he does stutter— he can hardly help it. ]
Y—your— your power. [ His lips press tightly together. ] What's it called— [ He tries to say it dismissively, like he doesn't know exactly what it's called, like he could forget it even if he wanted, like he didn't wish he could. ] Anagenesis— something like that.
[ He swallows around a lump in his throat, and tries to get the next sentence out; what comes out is a barely coherent mumble that has his face warming up. It's probably too much to ask for, that Belial will figure it out on his own and he won't have to actually say it. ]
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he doesn't interrupt him with teasing words and his eyes light up with a faint glimmer that suggests that he knows exactly what sandalphon is trying to communicate. a thrill of excitement he hasn't felt in ages shoots through his body and he has to force the look of smug satisfaction from forming on his face. he almost can't believe what he's hearing—the supreme primarch himself, lucifer's precious pet and solace, wants to be under his spell. willingly.
what on earth brought this on, hmm? hypnosis is kind of a niche kink he didn't expect sandalphon of all people to be interested in. did he unwittingly awaken something in sandalphon when he donned sariel's wings back at the summit of pandemonium and fought against him? ]
You need to speak more clearly, Sandy. [ he leans a little closer, deliberately pausing to let the embarassment sink in. ] You want me to use Anagenesis on you, hmm? Kinky.
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But... yes, that's what I'm asking. [ He confirms it in a small voice before Belial can prod him further or tease him about not making himself clear enough, and then raises his voice back again to add in a defiant tone: ] Just don't misunderstand me. I'm only...
[ Incredibly, painfully desperate? Really horny (no thanks to you), and with no partner to stave it off with? ]
... Curious.
[ Well, that's not exactly a lie. He is. Curious about exploring the sensation a bit further, about what it's like in a context where he's not fighting for the fate in the world, or in the desperate midst of a battle, and there's no real immediate threat or danger beyond the usual one of Belial's entire existence. (Although in the current situation, after all that lead to this point, the reason Belial is here at all, even that is lessened.) Curious to see what if feels like when he can really focus on it— maybe enough to actually remember some of the experience this time. But it is also a denial, to both Belial and himself, because he would spend another two thousand years in Pandemonium before he willingly admits the truth to Belial's face. ]
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Curious. [ he repeats, his eyes fixed on sandalphon's as if searching them for something more. his hand leaves sandalphon's neck to delicately tuck a strand of hair behind his ear before belial brings it to his own chin, framing it in thought as if considering. ] Well! I'll gladly give you an avenue to explore your kinks in a safe setting.
[ he says it with a touch of humor to his voice because he knows sandy's probably going to say something about how there's literally nothing safe about him. ]
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[ Even more so than Belial himself seems to know. At least he can say to himself he's entering this danger knowingly.
Still, with that aside, there's only one more thing to settle before he finally crosses the line and goes on to the next step. ]
I would hope this is obvious, but since it's you we're talking about, I should make it clear upfront that this stays between us. No word to anyone in the crew. [ ... When he thinks about it, he might not entirely mind the Singularity knowing— she'd fuss over him and worry, but it's the sort of knowledge he'd trust her with— but he doesn't want her to find out from Belial, so he adds. ] Including the captain.
[ He pauses, and then, with a dry tone again and expression to match: ] Or that friend of yours with whom you've been making sure that no one on this ship gets any sleep at night.
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My lips are completely sealed, Sandy. [ and for once he's actually telling the truth. ] I'll tease you endlessly, of course, but I won't be mentioning our clandestine affair to anyone else.
[ if only because that would ruin his chances of sandalphon coming back for more. as fun as it would be to embarrass him by telling everyone on the ship, he'd rather do such a good job that sandalphon will ask to do it again, again, and again. until belial has molded him into the perfect sex toy and corrupted him down to the core.
a pause, and he adds: ] We're not that loud.
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—He shouldn't think on that any further. Trying to decipher Belial's thought processes is dangerous territory. Particularly when he realizes that the reason he thinks Belial would find the secrecy appealing is because he does too.
To Belial's denial, he reacts with a snort and in a tone dripping pure sarcasm: ]
No? I suppose the absolute cacophony that comes from either yours or Metera's room at night is just a mass hallucination we all share at once with the Singularity, then. You don't hear yourselves from outside, do you? Ah, but then again, given how loud both of you already are separately, I suppose not much better could be expected when you combine.
[ It's not really a point he wants to argue, but talking back like this makes him feel a little better, and a little less like he's already at Belial's mercy before he even actually put him under his control. He finds himself shifting in place, with a certain degree of awkwardness, thinking of some way to prompt Belial to finally proceed to the next step, and do what he led him here to ask him for. Maybe he should move this to some other place first— to one of their rooms, maybe, somewhere they could at least sit, rather than awkwardly standing in the middle of the hallway like this— but that would be a verbal, conscious acknowledgement of where, he knows deep down, he would really like this to lead. Make him unable to keep up the pretense to himself that he just wants to experience the charm, rather than looking for, or expecting, how Belial would take advantage of it.
Besides, he's getting really, really impatient. Everything he's managed to endure for the past months is wearing all the more on him now that the relief from it feels so, so tantalizingly close. ]
... Well, regardless.
[ He straightens up, standing up like a student awaiting his professor's next instructions, or a soldier from his commander, finally looking back up at Belial and starting straight ahead as he manages to settle his expression into some measure of calm and neutrality, to mask all the mess of emotions and nervous desperation tangling within. ]
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So harsh! You're really hurting my feelings. [ he drawls in an obnoxious tone, his hand petting the top of sandalphon's head all condescendingly like he's a child or a small dog. ] Ask Conchy to put a soundproofing spell on your room if it bothers you that much.
[ it's either that or putting up with the noise until the singularity gives up hope of them quieting down of their own volition and gives them a stern talking to. that said, he smiles easily as he slides both hands into his pockets in a casual motion, eyes still on sandalphon. the way he's shifting in place makes it easy to guess that he's probably thinking about how to get from here to the bedroom without having to outright ask. tsk, tsk, lucifer's repressed influence really shows sometimes and it's rather tempting to tell him that he needs to actually verbalize what he wants, but he supposes he's suffered enough so he'll take the next step for him. ]
Come with me.
[ and with that, he turns on his heel and walks back in the direction they'd come from, heading toward his bedroom. luckily, it's still early enough in the day that most people are out and about instead of in their cabins so there's little risk of people seeing them enter his room together or being around to overhear them if sandalphon turns out to be as vocal as metera. ]
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Still, Belial so simply turning around and leading him out back where they came from makes his expression of neutrality melt into some form of mild surprise— he blinks, not entirely sure why it takes him aback, himself, but it takes him a second to catch up before he finally does move, following Belial outside. ]
Where...?
[ Well, he has his suspicions as to where Belial's leading him. But it's worth to ask just to spare himself any unwelcome surprises. ]
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[ he replies as they leave the hallway, ascending the stairs that lead back to familiar floors of the ship. there's a lightness to his steps that doesn't match his stature; perhaps the primarch of cunning is just naturally stealthy and does so effortlessly.
he gives a friendly wave to kolulu as she walks past them in a hurry, beckoned by the smell of delicious food wafting from the kitchen and too focused on getting food in her stomach to even properly register that sandalphon is there at all or question why he's with belial of all people.
they don't run into anyone else as they make their way to the cabins at the stern of the ship. belial gives a sleazy grin he's perfected long ago as he unlocks the door and holds it open, gesturing widely in invitation. ]
Make yourself at home.
[ the room is small but comfortable, furnished with dark furniture and carefully coordinated decor. the sword of renunciation and sword of repudiation hang on the wall above the bed, sunlight glinting off their polished edges as it filters through the porthole window. an ant formicarium sits in on one of the shelves in the corner of the room; belial had originally just gotten one for sariel to give him something to occupy himself with, but sariel had suggested that taking care of something might help things hurt less.
he'd doubted him, of course, but went along with it and found that watching the colony grow and develop helped take his mind off lucilius a little. ]
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At least he can breathe easy that nobody notices them on their way except Kolulu, who is an odd enough girl to be one of the better options. He does notice Belial waving to her as if they were friends— vaguely remembering the Singularity mentioning cheerfully that they seemed to be genuinely getting along. What's more bizzare, the thought of Belial having genuine friends, or finding such friendship in eccentric, but harmless little girls? Then again, maybe they're the only type willing to tolerate him.
It's a thought process cut off by the way Belial leers at him as he opens the door inside. Sandalphon reacts with a glare to make his opinion on his idea of a welcome well known, but follows him inside without a word and only a sight and a roll of his eyes, though he can't help vaguely feeling that he's entering some sort of beast's den.
The feeling all but dissipates at the sight of it; the knowledge this is Belial's room, his bedroom, remins, but room itself, is quite pleasantly ordinary; only the taste in colors indicating anything about the owner's nature. He finds his curiosity getting the better of him as he steps in and looks around, taking notice of the unexpectedly tasteful but very precise decor, the ominous golden swords, two of Lucilius' many weapons he remembers the captain making good use of, wielding more than one when he joins her in battle— these two more and the staves more familiar than others. And then, finally, most odd and downright out of place at all— an ant farm. His brows furrow in some mild befuddlement—what a downright wholesome thing for him to have— but it's the swords that he's more curious about. ]
What use do you have for these? I'd expect the katana to be much more relevant to you.
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something heavy glints across his eyes for a brief moment at when sandalphon asks him about the swords, but his expression doesn't change otherwise. he had a feeling this was going to come up. ]
His natural element was light. [ at least if his raid sprite being depicted with both of the swords is anything to go by, not to mention the other two lucifaces being light-aspected. he's not sure what exactly caused the loss of cilius's elemental affinity, whether the resurrection process fundamentally altered something or if it occurred when bubs stabbed lucifer with a chaos weapon capable of disrupting causality.
he'd asked the singularity if he could keep them in his room whenever she didn't need them; she would have preferred to keep her most powerful weapons in her own cabin, but she understood why he wanted them close by and didn't have it in her to say no. ]
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And as little as he understands or wants to understand about Belial, what he has come to realize is that what he, before the rebellion, has attributed to blind loyalty or some sick, twisted obsession, may very well be a depth of feelings very much like his own towards Lucifer. There most be some bizarre, twisted irony in it, the fact that Lucifer's loss was the fault of Belial's own ambitions and allies, the way Belial made use of it and desecrated his memory... yet it also puts him in a position Sandalphon himself can understand and emphasize. Perhaps better than anyone else on this ship.
And so, when even the Captain in her eternal naive kindness confided that she had some concerns over whether he's handling his grief well, had been relieved to see him interacting with and befriending other crewmembers, Sandalphon couldn't scorn or dismiss her compassion. He has no interest in offering pity or sympathy, himself— he doubts Belial would even appreciate or want it, or see the value in it— but he is willing to extend some respect for that very real grief he himself knows so well, some show of understanding. Of the value of a memento, of some remains of what that person was, of a symbol that embodies them in your eyes. ]
I see.
[ He looks to the side, answering in a soft voice that doesn't hold a sliver of the contempt that usually coats it when he talks to Belial; a voice he has never used speaking to him ever before. There's some awkwardness as he struggles to come up with what else to say, but what do you say in this situation? Even having been in Belial's place for so long, he doesn't have an answer. ]
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grief is a complicated process. back then he'd talk to the decapitated head he'd carefully preserved in a jar, holding one-sided conversatons about whatever he'd been up to that day, sometimes teasing him for 'ignoring' him as usual. perhaps it wasn't the most healthy or sane way to work through the loss, but it helped him remain focused on his goal of brinng him back even if it would take him centuries.
this time lucilius is gone and there's nothing that can be done about it; it's the kind of finality that forces him to actually deal with the reality of death instead of chasing ways to circumvent it. he honestly feels more empty than anything else, unsure of what the hell he's supposed to do with his life without lucilius in it.
not wanting to dwell on the subject further, he breaks the silence before any more tension or awkwardness get the chance to build: ]
O—kay, let's talk before we get started, then. [ he drawls in a silky tone, stepping closer, eyes lighting up with a hungry glint that's completely unlike the heavy look from moments ago. ]
Any questions, requests, things you'd like me to avoid? I intend to stay on the vanilla side of things since it's your first time and all, but I gotta ask.
[ as fun as it would be to just charm him already and do all manners of dirty things with him, he needs to know what boundaries he needs to work within or sandalphon will never agree to do this with him again. ]
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So long as we remain within the boundaries of what you call 'vanilla', that should be enough.
[ He's hardly an expert of these matters, or on this sort of slang, but he's been on this ship and in this world for long enough at this point since his reawakening to at least pick up on the basics. Some of the crew members, including the ones Belial himself as gotten involved with, are very blunt, and even the Singularity is not exactly innocent, herself, as made obvious whenever Lyria or Vyrn are out of earshot. He understands the phrase to mean that they're going to go about... this, in the most straightforward, basic way, with no particular sort of 'play' as they call it, or additions. Beyond the very premise of this arrangement, that is. It's less clear how far that means Belial intends to go.
So, with that in mind, there is something to clarify. ]
Requests... I suppose there is one thing. I would... like to go all the way. That is... um. I would like...
[ He probably wouldn't have been able to say the words at all if it weren't for incident that broke through the most basic of his boundaries and led to this in the first place. But even so, he visibly struggles with it, until the full sentence instead becomes a hesitant, stuttering mumble, muttered with a burning hot face flushed bright red, his eyes averted as far as possible from Belial, of which only a few words become comprehensible. ]
... I-inside of me.
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Of course. [ he nods in affirmation, his hand coming up to cup the side if sandalphon's face, rubbing the pad of his thumb over his lower lip. ] I'm gonna fuck that tight little ass of yours so good.
[ he was already planning to do exactly that, but having sandalphon outright ask for it is making him all the more excited. he's masturbated to the thought many times in his long life, thinking about the cute expressions little sandy would make as his cock sinks into him, how he'd squirm underneath him, overwhelmed with delicious pleasure mixed with the equally delicious pain of taking a dick that's almost too big for his body. how his eyes would roll back and drool would drip down his chin as belial fucks into him rough and fast, making him feel things someone as sinless as lucifer would never be able to provide. ]
I'm sure you're already aware of this, but the spell will make you as malleable as dough. All your inhibitions will melt away and you'll do anything I want you to do while enjoying every second of it. You'll probably say a lot of embarrassing things I'll tease you for, too. [ it's mostly said so sandalphon can't pretend he didn't make an informed decision and blame him later. he considers telling him that now is his last chance to change his mind about all this, but he doesn't think that's necessary. sandalphon wants this too much to consider it.
his hand drifts from sandalphon's face to peel down the collar so all of his palm touches bare skin as it curls around the back of his neck. ]
Now, take a deep breath and close your eyes. [ he gives him a moment to do as told and prepare himself, a faint glow emanating from the palm of his hand as he readies the charm. ]
Anagenesis.
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A bright heat floods through all of him, from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers, lower, deep into his thighs, and then throbbing between his legs; it's sudden enough to wake him up halfway again, and feels so, so good, that he presses his thighs together tightly for some desperate relief from the ache of it, and his eyes fly open and he makes a small, stuttering gasp. When he catches sight of Belial again, his eyes go wide as if in disbelief and shock at the sight of him. The surge of emotion that fills him is so powerful, so overwhelming, it outdoes everything else, and lust, need, but also— affection? Is that what it is? An devotion he feels so deep from the bottom of his heart, a deep longing for the man whose name escapes him right now, but he doesn't care to try to remember when right now all he can think of is this burning, desperate need that feels that he's been holding in for far too long.
He tries to move forward, driven by a hunger for contact, for touch, but the slight dizziness and the effect on his senses makes his hurried movements clumsy, and he loses his balance. With their close proximity, though, it doesn't take much effort for him to hold on to Belial as a clutch and lean against him; then he wraps his arms around his broad torso and holds on tightly, downright desperately, clings to him without a sliver of shame, and he sighs; relishing in the smell of him, the warmth of him, the sensation of is body beneath his hands, wanting to do more, to touch more, but content with this simple contact for the moment. ]
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How're you feeling? [ he asks the question in a soothing, almost cooing tone of voice, his fiingers rubbing gentle circles into sandalphon's neck in some semblance of a massage. he keeps his gaze fixed on him, eyes trailing up and down his body, attentive to every little change; the way his eyes widen, glazed over yet shining with an intoxicating cocktail of emotion. there's usually some of degree of tension in sandalphon's body language whenever belial is around but it seems to have drained away entirely, replaced by an endearing clumsiness. cute. ]
Daddy's gonna take good care of you. [ he huffs out a soft laughter as sandalphon's arms wrap around him, fingers sliding up to cradle the back of his head. they tangle in the soft brown strands of hair, working a gentle pressure against his scalp. ]
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He struggles to articulate that into an answer, but it's so hard to think, to translate that to words, to focus enough to answer. The voice, soft and soothing, seems to bore right into him— all his focus and thoughts slipping away just as he tries to gather them together and concentrating on the words alone. The touch on his neck sends little shivers of pleasure down his spine and through body, making him twitch in place; together, they paradoxically seem to stir up his aching, throbbing need further, and yet calm him at the same time, the press of fingers seeming to massage away whatever remains of any tension he might have had.
Finally, he manages to sigh out, nuzzling contentedly against Belial's chest: ] Good. Really good.
[ It's not nearly enough, but it answers the question. His hands wander across Belial's body absentmindedly, across the broad planes of his back, at his sides, at the cloth around his waist covering him, wanting more, needing more, wanting to touch, to be touched. Everything about Belial is so alluring, so tempting. Sandalphon clumsily tries to slip a hand beneath Belial's clothes, but his coordination isn't the best in this state so he settles for awkward attempts to grope him through the fabric instead, and then Belial says take care of you and those hands are stroking his hair and massaging his scalp and it's so relaxing, feels so nice. He's in far too deep to question the word Belial uses for himself‐ beyond recalling vaguely, at the back of his mind, hearing someone joke about it, someone else trying to explain‐ but to be taken care of— it sounds nice. And right, he asked him for something like that, didn't he? Asked Belial to put him in this state. He just needs to go along with him and listen. ]
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idly, he wonders if he's going to have to reapply the spell before the session ends; sandalphon is good at shrugging these things off, isn't he? but maybe he won't do it this time when he's on cloud nine. ]
You like my body, hmm? What's your favorite part? [ his cleavage, maybe? lots of people like it, the sensual tease of flesh that gets the imagination pumping. or maybe sandalphon is more of an ass man, or he's into abs? no matter the answer, belial is eager to hear it and file it away as future ammo when he wants to harass him.
he presses a deceptively tender kiss to the top of sandalphon's forehead before reaching around to find the clasps and closures on his chest armor. his deft fingers work quickly and it isn't long before they click open and the armor clatters to the wooden floor. ]
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He pulls away, standing straight again, his eyes moving across Belial's body, top to bottom, focusing as best he can through the fog in his mind. Everything about Belial is so alluring, so flawlessly sensual, not just his body but his voice, his aura, his very presence is its own siren song. It's hard to pick a single favorite part— but then again... ]
I haven't seen all of you yet. [ His hands roam across what he can find exposed of Belial's chest, then spreads his hands across both pecs to grope and squeeze, still clumsy, but with a determined intent and all the focus he can muster. ] But I like this part. [ Yes, he hasn't seen most of him at all... come to think of it, back then, Belial didn't even take off all of his clothes, did he—? and at the thought of it, the memory of Belial inside him, thrusting into him, comes flooding into sharp focus, and he makes a shaky breath, his body trembling— ]
And... [ His hands trail down, below Belial's chest, navel, and then, below the belt, fingertips brushing over the bulge in the front of his pants. ] ...this part.
[ He hasn't seen that one either, but he's certainly felt it. Now that he remembers, it all snaps into place. This part, that he's been thinking about for so long, needing to feel that again. What the source of this intense need is, what he wants, what he's looking for. He needs to be fucked. ]
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Hah. Fair enough, I suppose. [ hard to pick what you like the most without a proper look at the goods, anyway. maybe he'll revisit the question later on, after they've finished round one or two. depends on how much stamina sandalphon has.
his abdominal muscles contract minutely underneath the skin as sandalphon's finger brush southward across his navel and he's just about to unfasten the single button keeping his jacket together when the palm of sandalphon's hand presses up against his groin, causing a quiet but obscene little noise to spill out. ]
—So bold, Sandy! [ he shamelessly rolls his hips into the touch, grinding his clothed dick into it while simultenously divesting himself of the jacket, letting it fall to the floor along with the feather boa. then he gently pries sandalphon's hand away and gestures for him to raise his arms so he can take that pesky hoodie off. ]
You wear so many layers it's like unwrapping a birthday present.
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